5 WAYS TO HELP DURING A TRAGIC TIME

It is with so much sadness, that I share what’s happened in my personal life over the past week. My brother-in-law had a sudden heart attack and died, leaving behind my sister (& best friend) and her three kids, aged 9, 14 and 17. This is them last summer.

I have never written a post like this before, but through the process of loss, there have been a few things that have come up that I thought might be helpful to share.

1. Take SO many photos (& videos):

   My sister is a photographer and if there is anything she feels grateful for right now, it is for the hundreds of photos she has of her husband and her family. Her kids have photos to tell stories about, pour over in their darkest hours and memories to hold forever. She has had family photoshoots taken by professional photographers and these sessions are valued beyond belief. Videos capture voice and personality in an even greater way. So, get our your cameras and snap away making sure you and your partner are in the shots too.

2. Stay organized:

   Having important documents labelled and organized helps those around you at all times of life, even when you are no longer here. When systems are clear and in place, it makes the inevitable process of form completion and documentation so much easier throughout the most challenging times. Digital organization is just as important as paper-based.

3. Food is a fabulous love language:

   Within hours of the tragic news, close friends dropped off a block freezer and started filling it with food. Hot meals, freezer meals, general groceries and fresh food platters started to arrive. In that moment, I realized, food is the most logical (and such an appreciated!) way to show love. It is so helpful. If you have a friend or family member going through a heartbreaking time, dropping off a meal that can be enjoyed now or used later is such a great way to give.

4. Play:

   While each child copes differently and processes at different times, play is a beautiful way to connect. With younger kids, reach out and set up play dates. With older ones, invite them for a movie date. Any distraction that can allow a break for the mind is a welcome way to show kids that you care and a great way for them to connect with their friends.

5. Think longer term:

   While the initial outpouring of love is amazing, I can’t help but think of ways that will be helpful longer term. Set a reminder once a month over the next 24 months to drop off a meal or have a grocery gift card or gift certificate to a local restaurant mailed to the family every 3 or 6 months.

Most importantly of all, just be. Be you - the sibling, parent, child, or friend you are. Your friendship is what is most valuable of all.

In search of ways to help, I’ve set up a GoFundMe page for my sister and her family. Thank you to those who have already reached out. Your kindness and generosity is so very much appreciated.

A LITTLE TRADITION: LUNCH BOX NOTES FOR KIDS

We made it to Friday!! I know that our kids breathe a little happier knowing a couple of days at home are ahead too. I file this one under efficient Mama because it covers off two things at once: being organized and feeling connected! As a child, I loved receiving notes from my own Mom and now I’m carrying on the tradition in our home by popping a little hand written note into our kids’ lunchbox most Fridays in hopes of starting the weekend off on the right note (see what I did there?!).

It really doesn’t take long and it definitely doesn’t have to be complicated; even a simple ‘I love you!’ goes a long way to letting the kids know that we are thinking about them when we’re not physically there.

As with anything, what gets planned for gets done and this is no different. Schedule it in your calendar, set a reminder in your phone, write yourself a prompt on the fridge…whatever it takes, I encourage you to pick a date and try it out!

I’d love to hear if you do. Did your kids like it? Were they surprised?

SHOP THE POST…

OUR FAMILY FRIENDLY LIVING ROOM

They say that home is where your heart is and I believe this is completely true. For me, that means comfort, playfulness, support, love and moments of happiness when you need them most. Home is mainly the people you love, but creating a house that aligns with these feelings and qualities is something I have always loved doing. Last week, I shared Xavier’s big boy room and today, I’m so excited to share a glimpse into our family friendly living room!

This is a space that gets used by everyone. Forts are built, games are played and at the end of the day it’s a quick and easy room to clean up and look presentable.

The sectional is perfect for family movie nights and pillow fights too. It took a few years before we decided to buy a coffee table again and when we did, we chose a round one so that there weren’t any sharp corners for the kids (or us!) to run into.

The gallery wall is a random selection of both frames and art. Most are paintings that either I or the kids have done and there are also random materials from past travels. I always thought it would be a temporary display, but reality is that art doesn’t get changed in our house too often so it’s been up there for years!

While we don’t have fresh blooms on the table all the time, it sure is lovely when we do!

SHOP THE POST:

GARDENING WITH KIDS: LESSONS LEARNED & PLANTS THAT WORKED!

Like all good things in life, a little patience goes a long way. ;) Gardening with our kids has been something we have done since they were very young, but this is the first year that all three kids were willing to wait until things were actually ripe to eat them! It has been such a joy to watch their absolute happiness at tasting a tomato straight from the garden, or creating their own 'salads' with ingredients they have grown, watered and then picked themselves. While the kids started out checking the plants each day to see their growth, it was the weekends or days that we were away and then came back that they were also extra excited to see the big changes.

The three key lessons we have all learned from working on the garden together:

1. It's okay to have to start again

2. If at first it doesn't work, try and try again!

3. Good things grow with water, sun and a lot of love

I thought it would be helpful to note the veggies that worked well for our family this year in case you wanted to pin / save it for the beginning of next season. 

Vegetable success, aka easy plants to grow with kids in Vancouver on the West Coast, are as follows:

• Tomatoes – Each of our kids choose a plant that is ‘theirs’ and they all grow a different type of tomato. This year Xavier chose cherry tomatoes that were red, Noelle chose ones that are yellow and Kaia chose big ones (she loves tomatoes in her sandwiches). We love watching how they all grow at different speeds and the kids like to compare whose plant is giving us the most tomatoes.
  

• Runner Beans - Xavier brought this little plant home from preschool and we popped it into the garden to see it grow. Beans are super impressive (the rate of growth is unbelievable) and next year we will put some poles at the back of the garden for the beans to grow up.
  

• Zucchini – I’m not sure why we haven’t tried zucchini before but this was a winner! Easy to grow and with BIG success, the kids used the biggest zucchini to make muffins with one day while I was at work (hence no photos).
  

• Kale – Kale literally requires no maintenance and grows so big and quickly that is a crowd pleaser. While we love making kale salads, the kids adore kale chips and even eating it raw right out of the garden.
  

• Romaine lettuce – While we’ve tried other types of lettuce previously, this one grew big and strong and I was surprised by that. Next year we’ll plant more.
  

• Edible Flowers – when we asked our local garden centre whether they were able to recommend any edible flowers for our garden, I was astounded at how many options there were! We loved growing impatiens and next year we will plant more (and maybe a wider variety) so that we can add these to salads and as garnish to dinners. The kids ate the entire collection straight from the garden before they ever made it onto our plates.
  

• Swiss Chard - easy to grow, minimal upkeep (just water!)
  

• Herbs – Herbs are pretty simple to grow and we’ve had decent success with basil, parsley, mint, chives and rosemary. We grew thyme last year and it took over the garden; next year we’ll put it in a pot (as we do with mint).

Plants that didn’t turn out well:

• Broccoli – I’m not sure what we did wrong as our broccoli was looking good at the beginning, but each plant grew tall and flowery before we could eat it. The leaves were yellow (telling me our soil was low in nitrogen) and I think our garden was taking in too much sun for the broccoli to work. We may try this in a different location again next year.
  

• Cauliflower – A giant fail! We didn’t see any signs of cauliflower other than big green leaves. No idea what we did wrong.

As the kids get older, I'm sure our garden will become more impressive but at this age, it's all about the process even if the yield isn't high. We live in the city in Vancouver and our garden is really only about one metre squared!!! It's incredible what can grow in this small space or even in pots on a balcony. I'd love to hear if you garden with your little ones and if so, what plants have worked well for you?

SUMMER BREAK!

I am away on holiday with my family this week; I'll be sharing a few moments over on Instagram stories if you'd like to follow along! See you next Monday!